Addendum On The Issue Of Embarrassment

After publishing my previous piece on embarrassing networking stories, I feel like I may have left the conclusion a little too open-ended. I should clarify that.

While time will ultimately heal all embarrassments, this rule does come with a caveat. Yes, even the most humongous faux pas at a large-scale networking event will eventually evaporate from the memories of strangers. However, confidence to the point of arrogance can do permanent damage if you don't know where to stop.

My point and case is this post-networking email exchange, which comes to us directly from the Chris Jones Blog. If you're in a place where you can't be seen cringing, I suggest you relocate before reading it.

Too long; didn't read? Here's a visual representation.

Ouch.

In spite of all the warnings, this man's ego pushed him further and further down the rabbit hole until he just crashed head-first into a solid granite floor of total failure. All it took was a highly concentrated dose of self-delusion and vanity to burn that connection to ground.

So why share this story? Simply, it provides the perfect counterpoint to the issue of saying "hi." Yes, you should work up the courage to introduce yourself to total strangers. However, you should also understand and appreciate why that initial fear is there in the first place.

It's trying to protect you. It's your social immune system - that part of your brain that forces you to consider your words and actions before proceeding into unknown territory. Much like your biological immune system, it can overreact. It might go a little too far and tell you that the slightest mistake will result in irreparable humiliation. However, it might have also kept this gentleman from digging a grave for himself.

If there's a lesson to be had here, it's this: instead of thinking of social immune system as a voice in your head, think of it as a member of your internal Board of Directors. It doesn't run the whole show, and it certainly doesn't always know what it's doing, but it has an opinion with an appropriate time and place. You should never let you it control you, but you should always be mindful of its concerns. They might save you one day.